So how am I doing, really?

The initial romance of the village has slowly wore down. Which is good in some ways, and tough in others. I feel like I’ve made some friends, not quite real friends yet because I can’t really talk, but people that care about me, look out for me, and have accepted me, and perhaps will develop into real friends. But I’m also starting to realize, more and more everyday, how numerous and deeply rooted the problems here truly are. And sometimes I wake up really missing someone- there isn't one of you back at home that I have forgotten about. I dream about my friends, from high school, college, my family, and I wake up and think- two years- damn that's a long time. I've been healthy but I sometimes don't feel like myself- I'm sunburned, covered with mosquito bites, and I'm certaintly not in the kind of physical shape I like to be in.
It’s a toss up on what to do with my time sometimes- do I study Bambara, do I try to make myself useful at the CSCOM, do I just go and sit with my homologue or family so that they’ll accept me, do I go out and explore the village, do I take out a book and just escape for a while, or do I really try to put a presentation together for work? (Or in this case- do I abandon my anxieties and escape to Bamako for the day?) I’m a time orientated person, so to slow down and soak things in is a challenge- especially when I see so many people around me working hard to improve this village. But I’ve learned that these first three months should be slow. Right now the number one item on my to-do list is to master a Malian song on my guitar so that I can play it at nightly gatherings for the village. Language, integration, and tons of sugary Malian tea- I suppose that is going to be the next two months. But you, you’re gonna help me build a school, a pump, a girl’s club, or a new maternity ward. All you back at home. But not until after I learn that song, and perhaps a little more Bambara too. The challenge now is being ok with the fact that I cannot quite conquer the challenges of Dombila. Not quite yet. It would be silly to even try. So for now, donni, donni.